One of Way Too Many
by paserak
Summary: As the Company travels to the Lonely Mountain, unexpected danger lurks in the shadows. And everywhere else as well, actually. OC/? Warnings: mild to not so mild violence, Mary Sue


The company was on the road for some time now. They went already through thick and thin and learned that they can count on each other. They traveled through wild and beautiful country and you would think that there is not a sight that would surprise them – but this one did.

As they came to one of the many green meadows, a beautiful elven maiden rode up to them. Her long hair color of the sun, her eyes skye blue. She was riding a silverly mare. She was of such beauty, that everyone just had to stare at her in awe.

She stopped her horse.

"Greetings, Thorin Oakenshield, to you and to your company. I have come to aid you on your quest."

Bilbo whimpered. Gandalf hid his face in his hands. And from behind of the company, Fíli could be heard.

"Oh no, not another one..."

Taerwen was an elvish princess, skilled with bow and sword and capable of using magic. She was deeply ashamed of her relatives' actions – or the lack of any, and came to redeem them – and herself – in the eyes of the dwarves... and find true love, of course.

She looked speculatively at the company. There was a hobbit... and a wizard. She discarded them right away. Hobbits were not cool and the wizard was too old. That left thirteen dwarves to chose from. And she would have enough time to get to know them all and pick the best one, as she was going to ride in their company for a long time...

"Are you going to let her ride with us? I hope not," whispered Balin to Thorin.

"I have to. She would follow us anyway, and it is better to have her here, where we can keep our eyes on her."

"True. Sadly true," sighted Balin and rode to her, as to take care of formalities.

She mostly ignored him. While he seemed really nice, she decided he is a little too old for her. That left twelve.

"I am so excited!" she beamed at Thorin.

His look was thunderous, his eyes stormy.

It started to rain.

And it was not the last time there was rain...

Some dwarves didn't look too good when wet. Gloin was to be ignored from now on, as was Oin, who was clearly not her type. Ori, on the other hand, looked just so cute...

They rode on. She was in the back for a while, then rode up front again... talking to all the dwarves that still held her interest with such a sweet smile and spitfire personality, that even someone such as Thorin Oakenshield, who was known for not liking elves (and that's an understatement), couldn't help but like her...

"Master Gandalf," Dori asked their resident wizard (or the person who would be their resident wizard, have they had a residence), "can't you do something about this... deluge? Everytime Thorin gets angry at her, it starts raining rather heavily."

The wizard, not having any kind of control over the weather, sighted.

Lets just say, the next week was rather rainy.

Ah, they went through some great adventure in that week, that would really make every reader interested, but that would be too long to write and there wouldn't be any space left for her bonding with certain dwarves.

Ori was let off the hook, for he was cute... but too polite for her. Also, she suspected that he is smarter than her. She still thought Fíli and Kíli are just adorable, but the looks they were giving her made her feel uneasy. Maybe if she could get them apart and have a little one on one, she could get to know each one of them better. But at least she was coming to a decision. Bifur was just strange, Bombur too boring for her, Bofur... well, she was still not sure there. Nori snored. Dori... well, he sounded too posh. She made a short list of the remaining dwarves in her mind.. Fíli and Kíli... oh, those puppies... Bofur... well, she could let him go. Then there was Thorin.

She always liked Richard and the long hair really suited him. And he looked just so... kingly, as Thorin. Oh, it would be good to get married to a king, wouldn't it. And that was all.

But no! It was not!

She turned around and met Dwalin's gaze. Why, he was watching her almost all the time! How come she forgot him? She smiled at him. He snarled at her.

Yes, that must be true love.

She rode on, smiling to herself, knowing her true mission would soon be complete – she will find love and everone will respect her and adore her and...

They camped for the night, making cover from yet another rainy shower.

Taerwen decided to go for a walk. Actually, right after she looked around and discovered Dwalin missing.

She found a beautiful meadow with butterflies flying from flower to flower, rabbits hopping around and a little deer named Bambi grazing by and sat on a conveniently placed boulder.

A spear flew through the air and Bambi became dead meat. She gasped in shock and turned around.

Dwalin towered menacingly over her.

She got up.

Now that was bad, as the feeling of the moment was ruined, as elves are by default taller than dwarves. She was briefly considering taking her high heels off, but that would make her legs seem shorter. And it wouldn't be much help anyway. Instead she decided to undergo a sudden species change, and as she didn't want to go back and rewrite the entire story, she chose to use some rather unexplainable magic trick to achieve that.

"Magic trick!" said a soft voice from a sparkling cloud that appeared above her and lo and behold – in place of the elven maiden there stood a beautiful dwarf, her hair spun gold, her eyes pure emerald, her skin beautifuly bronzed, her chin very smooth, her frame slight and her waist slim.

Dwalin towered menacingly over her.

He looked into her beautiful deep innocent wide-opened large emerald eyes framed by long dark golden eyelashes and knew he was lost.

Actually, he knew that already, because he was no expert on this part of country and relied mostly on Thorin and Gandalf for a sense of direction. And he had no idea where they were now. But now he was lost even more, because he realized that there is no chance such a delicate maiden would carry a map on her.

So that meant both of them were lost... and events could eventuate.

Which they thankfully didn't, as Kíli strode by casualy.

"Dwalin, what are you doing here? Dinner will be ready in a moment and if you don't hurry up, there will be nothing left."

"On the other hand," he continued, "it is good you two are here. Help me gather some wood, will ye?"

With these words he pushed the already collected bunch of rather wet and slimy branches into Taerwen's arms.

She decided she hated Kíli, sweet he might be. And after considering the possibility of having him as brother in law, she crossed out Fíli from her list as well.

So, she thought to herself as she stumbled ungracefuly through the woods, following Kíli back to the camp, it is between Thorin and Dwalin now.

She kind of liked that idea. Why, she should have known from the beginning. Both warriors... both very strong and very tall... now which one of them will capture her heart?

For the next couple of days – which were yet again rather rainy – she was giving a smile to yet one, then the other, joking with them and being a pleasant companion. She noticed they exchange glares from time to time – they must have been jealous!

"If she doesn't stop that soon, I swear there will be an accident," muttered Dwalin to Thorin in one of the rare moments when she left both of them alone.

Thorin sighted. "Patience, my friend."

"Been patient long enough..."

Suddently... a giant boar ran from the woods, ready to attack... yes, no one else but Bilbo. And there was no one to help him.

She planted herself in its way.

 _Now is the time!_ she thought. _Now I will show Dwalin and Thorin that I am a great figter... and they will.. adore me... and whichever of them says the nicest thing to me... that is the one I will chose!_

So submerged in her thoughts and trying to look pretty she was, she completely forgot about the little problem of the charging boar. It attacked her and stomped on her, leaving her laying in a rather unprettly pulp.

Bilbo, who stepped aside, was watching with a quiet cheer. Then Bifur came and got rid of the boar without much fuss.

Well, that meant the dinner was taken care of. But first... they had to dig a ditch.

Shovels were proving to be quite useful on this trip.

It was not the first time they had to dispose of a Sue.

Unfortunately, not the last time either.


End file.
